6 Ways to Help Older Children Adjust to a New Sibling

Let’s be honest, introducing the newest member of the family to your older child can sometimes feel like navigating uncharted waters.

That’s because you are!!

As a mom of three, I’m here to assure you that this journey, while occasionally bumpy, can also be an amazing bonding experience for your family!

Obviously, it’s so crucial to prepare your older kiddos for the new baby.

This is a big change in their life and will shake up their world quite a bit.

But here’s the good news, preparation is key (and you’re already starting that process by reading this blog!)

Let’s talk specifics. What can you do NOW to prepare for the new baby?

1. Books

Start by reading books that talk about siblings and new babies. “I’m a Big Sister” or “I’m a Big Brother” by Joanna Cole and “What Brothers Do Best” or “What Sisters Do Best” by Laura Joffe Numeroff are great options.

They beautifully illustrate the ups and downs of having a new sibling. Your little one will want to read these over and over and you can watch as they start to look forward to their exciting new role!

2. Let the Older Sibling Help Prepare

As you prepare the baby’s room, the crib, and the new baby clothes, let your older child be involved! Allow them to pick out some nursery decorations, or a special gift for their new sibling. This involvement can help them feel important and like they’re a crucial part of this new chapter.

3. Arrange an “Activity box” that you bring out during feedings

Whether breastfeeding, pumping or bottle feeding, there is time where you will need to sit in one place and focus on the task at hand. This can be hard for new older siblings at any age, it often feels like an interruption to them, or a time where you will be more distracted from what they want to do.

Cue the “Activity Box”…. trust me it is a life savor!

What Is It?

***A special container (basket, bin, or tote) that only comes out during baby feedings. It holds engaging, independent activities your older child can enjoy while you’re sitting with the baby***

The key: It’s special because it’s limited to feeding time.

How to Set It Up:

~ Choose the Container

• A medium basket or storage bin
• Easy for your child to access independently
• Kept near your usual feeding spot

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~Fill It with Engaging, Low-Mess Activities

Choose activities based on age and interests. Rotate items every 1–2 weeks to keep it fresh.

For Toddlers (1.5–3 years)

• Board books
• Reusable sticker books
• Felt board sets
• Chunky puzzles
• Magnetic drawing board
• Matching cards

For Preschoolers (3–5 years)

• Coloring books + washable markers
• Lacing cards
• Small LEGO/Duplo sets
• Simple craft kits (stickers, foam shapes)
• Dry erase activity books
• “I Spy” books

For Early Elementary

• Chapter books or audiobooks with headphones
• Activity books (mazes, word searches)
• Small building kits
• Journals with special pens
• Brain teaser cards

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~Make It Feel Special

• Call it something exciting (“Big Kid Box” or “Feeding Fun Basket”).
• Only bring it out when you sit down to feed.
• Let your child help choose items to include.
• Occasionally add a surprise item.

This builds positive anticipation around feeding time instead of resentment.

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~Add Connection, Not Just Distraction

Even though you’re feeding, you can still:

• Ask them to “read” you their book
• Comment on what they’re building
• Give small praise and eye contact
• Invite gentle participation (“Can you bring me a burp cloth?”)

It helps them feel included rather than sidelined.

4. Let the Older Sibling Help After Baby Arrives

After the baby arrives, it’s a whole new ball game. During this time, it’s helpful to foster interaction between your older child and their new sibling. Let your older child “help” with the baby — maybe they can pick out the baby’s outfit for the day, or sing them a lullaby, or simply talk to the baby. My kids loved to help hand me diapers during diaper changes. This can help them form a bond with the baby, and feel included in this new phase of your family’s life.

5. Pre-arrange one on one time

But remember, amid all this, feelings of jealousy might creep in. It’s essential to reassure your older child that they’re still loved just as much as before. Maybe you can arrange for some one-on-one time with them – a special movie night or a picnic in the park. It doesn’t have to be grand, what matters is spending quality time with them.

Here are some local suggestions:

~ Barnes & Noble outing; grab a coffee or hot chocolate, some cake pops and explore new books together

~The Little Lounge Indoor Play & Cafe; this is safe and engaging play space for play with your little one and connect with other families

~Big Flats Town Park Extension; this playground is clean and perfect for a little parent child picnic together, there is a great paved loop for bikes and strollers too!

6. Keep Their Routine

Ultimately, keep in mind that as parents, you’re their compass in this new territory. It’s important to keep as much of their normal routine as possible.

Whether it’s their beloved bedtime story, or that funny face you pull while having dinner, keeping some things the same can provide them with comfort.

And remember, every child is different and will react differently. It’s about guiding them through this process with love, understanding, and patience.

I hope reading 6 Ways to Help Older Children Adjust to a New Sibling has given you some solid ideas on how to make this transition a little more smoothly!

If you’re still looking for a Horseheads Photographer, to capture these first moments with the older sibling and new baby – I’m here for you!

Click here to see my newborn photography 🤍

And if you are thinking of what to wear for in-home newborn photos, make sure to check out this complete guide to choosing family and newborn outfits by guest blogger Jessica Grace in Atlanta.